new year. new you.

i say it every year. "new year, new you." i convince myself that this year i'm gonna be a better me, but as i've reflected on the past year (2010), i feel that i wasn't a better me. yes, i did better in school. and i was better at maintaining friendships, old and new. but overall, i don't think i was a better me. which is a very hard thing to admit, because i almost feel like i'm admitting to failure.

everyone always says follow what's in your heart. and most of the time i listen to that advice, but sometimes it makes more sense to follow what's in your head. your head is the more clear thinking part, where as your heart is only making you follow what you're feeling. all to often this past year, i let me emotions cloud my judgement. with one situation in particular, and i even let it continue into this year. but it stops today. i'm making sure of it. this is me being head-strong. i can do this. i'm gonna start looking at this with a clear head.

i was looking through some stuff on facebook and came across something i wrote freshman year of college. it says: "another cliche, but you have to remember what you deserve. feelings and emotions can get in the way. they can blind you. and sometimes it's really not what you want, it's onl what you think you want. it can make you think that's what you deserve. once you find what you really deserve, you'll know it. it's just a feeling..."

i was smart back then lol i let all that thinking go out last year. so this year, it's different. i will fully remember to only take what i deserve. no more wasting time with what i don't.

so new year, new me! here i come 2011. i'm ready for you!