something new

res⋅o⋅lu⋅tion a determination; a formal expression of intention made

The new year is fast approaching. Every year, I vow to make a resolution and every year, I never do. So I've decided that this year will be my year. And I will write them here so that I can look back and remind myself.

In 2010, I want to:

• try something new
• get straight A's at least one semester
  
• smile more
• spend more time with my family

It's nothing big but it's a start. I'm really going to try to stick to these.

I actually get to check off one thing on my list right in the first month of 2010. Trying something new....

Elizabeth's mom got her and her brother a condo in Park City, Utah over Martin Luther King Jr weekend and they are each allowed to bring one friend. Guess who she picked?!! That's right, MEEEE! We leave January 14th and get back the 19th!! I CAN NOT WAIT!

I've never been skiing before, let alone traveled any farther west than Tennessee. Soo I'm doing 3 different new things - (1) Skiing, (2) going West, and (3) taking a connecting flight. I'm sooo excited! It should be a great experience. Although Mom says my legs will be killing me if I don't strengthen the muscles which means I should probably hit the gym a few times before we go. Maybe that should go on my resolution list too.....? Nah, I'll never stick to that one as hard as I try. lol but hey, at least I'm being honest with myself ;)

came and went

Every year, Christmas seems to come and go faster and faster. This year, it was especially fast. I remember Christmas shopping in a t-shirt and jeans. It was warm pretty much up until the week of Christmas which didn't really put me into the Christmas mood. And the music started playing right after Halloween this year, but I didn't start listening to it until probably the week before Christmas. Just as soon as I get into the mood, before I know it, it's all over. I saw this comic in the paper yesterday and it kind of reminded me of exactly how I'm feeling. Christmas is so overdone before hand that I'm just not into it and then once Christmas has passed, it's all gone. Just like that, at a snap of your finger. I almost wish they would play Christmas music til New Year's and leave all the decorations up just a little longer.


Overall, it was a great Christmas though. We spent Christmas Eve and morning at my parent's house. We went to church the night before Christmas as always and then had Hamburger Helper for dinner. It's always been our tradition. Why? I honestly don't know, but I take comfort in it and enjoy it every year. Then Christmas morning my sister woke us up at 8am and we went down and opened our presents - stockings first. then presents from Santa. then all the rest. It was beautiful chaos. I love Christmas morning. It's so much fun to see all the different colored wrapping paper fly every which way. After all the madness had calmed down, we had donuts for breakfast, our other tradition. Then we packed up the car and headed to Charlotte. Uncle Paul was hosting his first offical holiday dinner at his house. He was very excited. The house was beautifully decorated and the dinner was fantastic. He made a mouth-watering turkey that, as sad as I am to admit, trumps Grandma's at Thanksgiving.

Hope you all had a great Christmas and were able to spend some good quality time with your family. That's always my favorite part of this holiday...being able to spend some time with my family. I hope you were able to really remember the true meaning of Christmas over the holiday as well.

cooperation not included

Every year, my family takes a picture for our Christmas card. Usually it's just of my brother, sister, and me. This year, we took it at the annual sleigh ride in my neighborhood...well I guess, my parent's neighborhood since I no longer live there. It took my mom fifteen different pictures until she finally got one she approved of. Unfortunately, I'm not exaggerating. Do you know how bad my mouth hurt from smiling after that?! Oh well. The card turned out pretty good and my mom was happy with it. I still think it wasn't all that great, but I wasn't about to sit there for another fifteen pictures. And of course my brother and I gave (and still give) my mom so much crap for taking a billion pictures of us before she found the one she liked.

I no longer am allowed to laugh.

I tried to take a Christmas picture of my babies (Kobie and Piper). Now I know why it's so hard. Just like kids, kitties don't sit still. When one is looking at the camera, the other one isn't. Then when I finally get one looking, the other one jumps off. Or is too busy playing with the tree. Forget trying to take a picture of both of them at the same time. So here is our little photo shoot for our Christmas pictures....

The first and only picture of both of them. I finanlly gave up trying to get a picture of both of them. So i did each one seperately....

Piper kept rubbing up on the tree...

...or chewing on the branches.

And Kobie decided she was too interested in the lights to look at the camera.

The sad part is, these are only the best of the worst pictures lol

So here is my final product. Two seperate pictures of my babies with our Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! With love from Kobie ♥

MERRY CHRISTMAS! With love from Piper ♥

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM MY LITTLE FAMILY TO YOURS :)

why i'm smiling

I've had a rough couple of days. But when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile. So here are my reasons to smile right now:

1. Christmas movies are on TV right now.
2. I've finally finished my Christmas shopping.
   
3. Christmas is in a few days!
4. I'm going to Charlotte to see my uncle!
5. Kobie slept on my tummy today! She does still love me :)
6. I have to type with one hand right now because Kobie is busy licking my other one while I try to keep her from falling off my lap.
7. Sweater slipper boots are super comfy!
   
8. The year is almost over, 2010 here I come...
9. I had a fun night out Saturday with my roommate Lauren, who I haven't gone out with in a while.
   
10. Sleeping in has occurred a lot this break, which is much needed.
    
11. I got a Christmas present from my boss for the first time in 3 years of working there.
12. I discovered 100 calorie ice cream sandwiches, and they are just as good as the normal ones!
13. I went to the dentist, and again, didn't have any cavities.
14. I ended this semester with 4 A's and 2 B's...my best grades for any college semester to date!
15. I have great friends who are always there for me. I love them.
    

PB&J

it's 1:55am on a saturday night (well i guess technically sunday morning) and I just made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. i haven't had one of these in ages. hmm probably since my freshman year of college. i forgot how much i like them. except i don't have milk which is kind of disappointing. oh well, i'm still enjoying it.

now kobie and piper are trying to steal it from me. i guess that's what i get for eating it in bed.

why does making one simple little sandwich provoke so many thoughts?

eating pb&j reminds me of elementary school. i don't know why since i'm pretty sure i didn't even eat them in elementary school. daddy always use to make me cold cut sandwiches or wraps for lunch. but when he did make me pb&j, he would always cut the crust off because i don't like crust. i have the best daddy ever. i miss having him make me lunch. welcome to the real world, i guess...

it also reminds me of how simple life use to be. remember the days of elementary school when liking a boy didn't lead to broken hearts. my little sister (10 yrs old) has had a "boyfriend" since second grade. his name is evan. i asked her the other day if she ever had playdates with evan. her response: "well no. but i chase him around the playground." haha ohh how i wish life was that easy again.

another reason life was so simple, school wasn't stressful. of course, back then i thought it was. i hated my teachers for giving me too much homework so that i couldn't go out and play before dinner. but looking back that was nothing compared to what i have now. i never had all-nighters back then. now it's quite common, unfortunately.

it's funny how when you're little, you wish to be grown up. once you get there, looking back, it was kinda nice to be little. but i definitely don't wish to be little again. i miss certain things but i like my grown up, crazy, hectic, stressful, beautiful life and i wouldn't trade it for the world. i'm very happy with the way my life has turned out. sure there's bumps in the road, but they make me a stronger and much better person.

so i leave you with this quote... "sometimes being an adult is exactly what you imagined it would be when you were five: staying up late and eating Lucky Charms for dinner." i thought it was cute. only i guess for this post it should be eating PB&J for dinner. oh well. back to my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

freedomm!

I can let out a loud sigh of relief now. Finals are over. It's been a tough few weeks - the stress started to get to me. I was running on little to no sleep. Tears were constantly right there. I fought them off a lot. But I have survived. I made it through, alive. Exhausted, warn out, dark circles, hair a mess, back hurting...but I'm in one piece. And for that, I'm grateful.

Now, I have a month and two days off (but who's counting lol). I will be using that time to work and spend time with my family. It is a much welcomed break. Since I'm enjoying the feeling of the weight being lifted off my sholders, here are some good things going on:

• Winter Break - one month and 2 days of enjoying NO school work
• Christmas shopping - I'm almost done!! I'm always a last minute shopper and this year I've managed to get presents for everyone but my mom. That's a huge accomplishment for me :)
• Christmas - can you believe it's only two weeks away?! Where has the time gone?? Can't wait to spend some happy holiday time with my family
• New Years - I don't know where I'll be or who I'm celebrating it with, but I'm just excited about a new year. I hope 2010 is a good one.

I love this season!! Seeing all the lights and decorations and hearing all the music, just makes me want to smile :)) I'm feeling great for the first time in a few weeks. I'm stress free and I'm lovin' it! Hope everyone's enjoying their holiday seasone as much as me!

the season of giving

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,
toys in every store...

Ahh, I love this time of year. Christmas is coming!
Tis the season of giving.

One problem though: I'm the worst gift giver ever! I can never think of anything to get anyone. Some people have the natural ability to buy (or even make) great gifts that the gift receiver really enjoy and appreciate. I've tried to be that person, but no matter how hard I try, I've been unsuccessful. This year, I've had to narrow my list as I'm a little tight on money. Which means I've also narrowed my budget for each person. So it looks like my gift giving isn't gonna be improving this year. The great ideas that I do have turn out to be out of my price range. Go figure!

I find it the hardest to buy for my dad. He never really needs anything and doesn't ask for much, so when I try to find something he will actually use or appreciate, I come up short. My brother is pretty easy. I just buy him some Duke paraphernalia and he's happy. My sister use to be a piece of cake but as she's grown older, she is becoming harder to figure out. I want to get her something that she'll open and make her eyes grow wide but that she'll acutally use for longer than a month. I've seemed to run into that problem the last couple years with her. Mom is probably the easiest to buy for. I have a few ideas for her this year but we'll see if I can afford some of them.

Well, it's about to be shopping time for me - and I'm really dreading it this year. Wish me luck because I'm gonna need it. If you have any ideas, sugguestions would be greatly appreciated :)

I'm a happy hooker.

Yes, that's right...that's what I just said.
I am a happy hooker.

Ok, so now let me explain.

I always thought I was a good listener. Yes I like to talk, but I also like to listen. I want people to feel comfortable enough to come to me and talk about anything.

In seminar this week, we talked about active listening. There are four things people do that are not considered active listening including what is called "happy hooking." This means that when someone is telling you something, the person who is supposed to be listening takes something the other person says and hooks it to something they say.

For example:
person 1: "That movie was so awful!"
person 2: "That sucks. I saw this movie last week which was so bad too!"

Ok so not really a great example, but you get the point. But this is happy hooking. Unfortunately, I have realized that i'm guilty of that. Far to often too. Therefore, I am a happy hooker. This needs to change. I need to change that. So that's my goal for this coming up year - I don't want to be a happy hooker anymore.

WE'RE THE RED AND WHITE FROM STATE

AND WE KNOW WE ARE THE BEST!

can i please remind carolina fans of this??

that's right baby, state kicked ass.
and we plan on doing it again tomorrow.
only at home this time.
it's been a tough season for my boys...
but i know they can pull off this win.
i love my wolfpack ♥

*UPDATE: state won! 28-27

it was an awesome game!!

THANKFUL

As time passes and our lives get so hectic, we forget to sit down and remember what we are thankful for. Here is what I'm thankful for this year (in no particular order):

Mom & Dad
I couldn't have done anything without them. As much as I fight and argue with them, they are usually right (just don't tell them I said that). And for that, I am thankful. They paved a great road for me with only a few pot holes, but nothing I couldn't handle. I just hope I can do the same for my kids.

Ryan & Rebecca

My siblings are amazing. They look up to me and I try to be the best role model as I can. I love them so much, and I can't believe how fast they have grown up. My brother starts college next year and my sister will start middle school! I have to remember to not take the time I have with them for granted because time sure does fly.

Kitties
I really don't know how I could survive without Kobie and Piper. I didn't know how much I could love a pet until I got one. They are there for me no matter what and even though they can't talk, they are the best listeners. There have been plenty of times where they have been at my side while I'm in need of some company.

Friends
Throughout college, you really do find out who your true friends are. People have come and gone throughout these years, but the ones who are always there for me and are at my side, I am thankful for you. I didn't put pictures because I feel like these people should know who they are. Thank you guys for being there for me, through the good times and bad!

Roommates
Roommates seems like something you wouldn't really be thankful for but after last year and the experiences I went through, I'm soo thankful to have roommates that get along and have fun together. You guys are awesome and I'm so excited to see all the new adventures we have together as this year continues. And yay for resigning our lease for another year of us together!

Sleep
I always liked sleep but I never really appreciated it until this year. Junior year has been tough and I don't get nearly enough sleep, so when I get the off chance to get a few extra hours, I take it. I am so thankful for those nights of sleep. They keep me sane, literally. (And I put a picture of my babies sleeping since I obviously don't have a picture of me sleeping since I can't take it lol)

SmilesNever underestimate the power of a smile. It can heal many things. I've had many opportunities to frown this year, but I've had even more times to smile. A smile can heal my soul, and for that, I am very thankful for. Everyone needs smiles :)

Memories
I look back through pictures and always smile. Pictures can never replace actually being there but I sure do have so many amazing memories that I can look back on. They were brought by my family, kitties, friends, roommates, and smiles. Thankful doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about all these things. I'm very grateful to everyone and every thing in my life. I know many people aren't as lucky me, so this Thanksgiving, I will try to remember to appreciate what I have and be thankful for it.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! ♥

new love

this year, i've finally found a nice stable relationship. and i like it. we've been acquaintances for many years before, but we never became really close until this year.

so here's to my new love:
i have a new, much fonder, appreciation for you. you know exactly how to make me comfortable. you give me this warm and fuzzy feeling inside whenever you're around. when i come home from school or work and i'm stressed, you know exactly how to de-stress me. at times when i'm not wanting to be seen, you somehow coax me to leave the house (even with no make-up on!) because i'm just that comfortable around you. I love how you can just roll with the punches too...be lazy one day, cook dinner with me the next, and run errands whenever necessary. and never once do you complain that i use you or you get tired of running around with me. i know i'm spastic and a little unorganized, but you are always there for me when i need you. you just go with whatever strikes my fancy at the time. i need that stability in my life. you aren't too clingy either. you always know how to give me just the right amount of space i need when i need it. especially on those not-so-pleasant monthly days...god, you are my heaven-sent. my mood swings are hard to handle for most, i know, but you are there to be supportive and let me cry it out or scream it out or whatever it is that i feel like doing that day. you look great in every color too but my favortie must be gray. and you wear nc state logos with pride, which is definitely a plus in my eyes! i love my wolfpack... almost as much as i love you.

just thinking about you babe, makes me want to run home and curl up in bed with you. oh sweatpants, how did i live without you before?! ;)

can't help but smile

so today in my class that i intern in, the class was talking about pilgrim's and thanksgiving. here is how the beginning of the discussion went:

teacher: "does anyone know what a pilgrim is?"
2nd grader: "well they're kind of like lepercons but they only come out at thanksgiving."

i couldn't help but smile.
this is why i can't wait to be a teacher! :)

a 21st!

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional!

Today is Elizabeth's birthday. She turned 21.
Bring on the drinks!

happy birthday girl!
i ♥ you

we're having a "roaring 2os" themed party on friday in honor of her 21st birthday. it's gonna be so much fun. i can't wait! hope your day is amazing and special. you deserve it!

turning back the pages

do you remember those books you read, maybe back in middle school, that you could pick the fate of the character at the end of each chapter? "if kate decided to go in the house, turn to page 15. if kate decided to turn around and leave, turn to page 23." i use to love them. i would always pick my answer but then go back and read what would have happened if i chose the other option. sometimes, i wish life was like that. turn back the pages to see the different outcomes...

i can't sleep. it's 2:22am. and all i can think about is one night over this past summer. may 20th, to be exact. that night keeps playing over and over in my head. i wonder what it would be like right now if the turn of events happened differently. would my situation now be differnt? if so, how?

i guess all i can really do is wonder...

t-shirts

I love being creative. I wish I had more time to spend on random art projects like t-shirts, scrapbooks, picture collages, etc. But on the rare minute that I have some time and feel the creative urge, I try to follow through with that.

Soo last night I made t-shirts with Elizabeth for the Averett Senior day football game to show my support :) here are the results:

I'm pretty happy with how mine turned out. But I am a perfectionist - I totally smeared the "g" in cougars and it made me soo mad! lol oh well, other than that, I'm really happy with it!

he liked it too :)

a great role model

I keep track of Rihanna's music and always liked to see what outfit or fashion she will come out in next. But after her tragedy in February, she became more "human" and I could relate to her, as can many other girls unfortunately. Today, she is supposed to go on 20/20 and talk about what happened that awful night with Chris Brown, and for that, I have the utmost respect for her.

It's hard to talk about. And many times, it's extremely easy for outsiders looking in to say "Oh that would never happen to me. I wouldn't let it get to that point." Or other comments to that degree. Until it actually happens to you. For me, I told myself I would never fall for a guy like that, and if i did, I would leave right away if it ever came to that. And then I was put to the test.

Our relationship started off great. I fell fast and hard. I had never been this in love before. And then it turned sour. It started off as emotional abuse. Then, to mental abuse. And finally, the physical abuse came. I was so emotionally involved and mentally brain washed that I stayed. I was in love. Luckily, my case was not nearly as bad as Rihanna's but I was left with bruises. One bruise too many. Yet I stayed. I told myself it wouldn't happen again. He would love me too much for that. It is so easy to go back. Rihanna says in her interview "It's pretty easy to go back. You start lying to yourself. The physical wounds go away. You want this thing to go away. This is a memory you don't want to ever have again."

It's so true. And it's really hard to understand unless you've actually gone through it and experienced it. It's different from an outsiders perspective. I hope no one ever has to go through this, but it definitely gives you a different view of it. I again lucked out the next time he hurt me. More bruises. I stayed. And another attack. But I stayed again. Three different occasions where he hit me and left bruises. Each time I stayed.

The realization that I had to leave came when we had an argument and he took me to a field out in the middle of no where. I have never been so scared for my life, ever. I had no one to turn to, no phone to call someone, no car to get away in. It was just me and him. He was stronger than me. I knew he could tear me apart. I knew I didn't stand a chance if he hurt me. Then it clicked. It was like an out of body experience. I saw myself, stranded, afraid, and helpless. I finally pulled myself out of the situation and realized I had fallen in love with a monster. he was someone who was only hurting me and bringing me down. Again, luckily, I came out with little physical injuries. But it's still physical abuse. And emotional and mental abuse. None of which, I deserve.

I was lucky. Many other girls in the same situation aren't so lucky.

I have only seen clips from the interview so far. I plan to watch the whole thing when it comes on tonight, but there's a part in there where Rihanna says "don't react off love....f love. come out of the situation and look at it third person for what it really is and then make your decision because love is sooo blind."

This statement is sooo true. And it can be applied to any situation in a relationship, not just abuse and domestic violence. It's really hard to do this sometimes. I'm guilty, even now, of not pulling myself out of it to see what it really is. I really commend Rihanna for having the courage to speak out. Many young girls will look up to her and hear her message and hopefully it will save their lives. She's incredible, and only makes her more amazing in my eyes. She's human, just like me and you. Bad things can happen to really good people.

Rihanna, you go girl!! Thank you so much for speaking out!

first attempt

Can't Let Go

His eyes.
His smile.
His laugh.
Why I can’t let him go.

His lack of thought.
I’m only an option.
Just a convenience for him.
Why I should let him go.

I linger on the thought of him every night
Before I curl up in bed
Wishing he was beside me.

Waiting, it’s the hardest thing.
Sometimes it’s easy
When you feel like what you’re waiting for
Is worth every day.

But what happens when
You just can’t wait anymore?

I sit and wonder if he’s deserving.
Does he deserve me?

Then I remember:

His lack of thought.
I’m only an option.
Just a convenience for him.
Why I should let him go.

I put my foot down.
I will be done waiting today.
It’s not worth it
Because I’m not worth it to him.

I need to be a priority, not an option.
I need to be needed, not just wanted.

But then I remember:

His eyes.
His smile.
His laugh.
Why I can’t let him go.

And then I melt
As I fall asleep
Wishing he was beside me.

--------------------------------------------------

i couldn't sleep...so i tried my hand at writing poetry.
it's my first attempt. thoughts? comments? suggestions?
i appreciate your input!

halloween

so halloween was a good one this year...but i'm all halloweened out. i celebrated too much, i think. not really much to write about other than i had a great time. just thought i would share pictures of my 3 different costumes from this year lol

weekend before - army brat
thursday night - cowgirl
friday & saturday night - pirate

hope you all had a great halloween!!

cuddle day

It's a cold and dreary day today. the day after halloween. and i'm loong overdue for a post about my kitties. sooo here it goes...

i'm in heaven right now... curled up in bed watching tv with a mug of hot chocolate and my babies curled up next to me. aren't they cute? kobie is still my number one baby but she's gotten into the phase where she doesn't want mommy unless she goes first. so i don't get very many cuddle times with her anymore. but when i do, by the off chance, like this morning that she crawls into my lap, i take full advantage. i stay as still as i can while she purrs on my lap and i pet her. i savor these moments now. i miss them. but they are great when they happen :)

piper is still a little ball of energy. so curious. so playful. she still loves cuddle time. whenever i'm sitting at my desk doing homework or on the couch watching tv, she wants to be on my lap. it's sweet and makes me smile. it's nice to know mommy is wanted sometimes lol and everyone just adores piper. she's so playful and social. she hates to be alone.

it's kinda funny that each of them have such distinct personalities but they each take after their mamma in some aspect ;) lol kobie has an attitude and sass. piper is social and always wants to cuddle.

my babies ♥ i don't know how i could live without them....i can't even imagine how i'm gonna be with my human kids if this is how in love i am with my kitties.

everybody, rock your body right...

...backstreet's back, alright!

Think back to 1997. Yeah i know, looooong time ago lol I was in...oh gosh, i don't even know....3rd grade maybe. like i said, a looooong time ago. anyway, so back then, I was the typical little girl...loved to play on the playground, boys had cooties, that type of thing. and my favorite singers were britney spears, christina aguliara, n*sync, and of course, the backstreet boys. well let me just tell you, "backstreet's back, alright!" lol i can't beleive it's been that long since they released their first album and i started to listen to them.

This past weekend, Olivia and I went to Charlotte to see them preform!! It was soo much fun. Kinda sad that I've been a fan since 1997 but this is the first time I'm seeing them in concert. They played at Charlotte's annual Halloween event called the Grave Digger's Ball. We got dressed up in Halloween costumes (Olivia was a greek goddess and I was an army brat) and rocked out to some old songs and then some new ones too.

My have times changed! There are only 4 instead of 5 now. I guess Kevin didn't want to be a part of the group anymore. Oh well, they still sounded great!! They came out and sang their first song, which appropriately was "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" and then Brian says "my, ya'll look so grown up" lol they definitely look older too, but not in a bad way. My tastes sure have changed too. Nick and Brian use to be my favorite looks wise. Brian still looks good..mmmm. But now, AJ is my other favorite. When I was little, I use to think he was so ugly because he had tattoos all over. But now.....he's pretty damn cute. Who knew I would eventually fall for the guys with tattoos lol i'm sure mom won't be happy to hear that.

They are supposed to be going on tour again soon. guess who wants tickets?! lol

guilty pleasures

Well all, I have SURVIVED! hell week has come and gone. Things have been looking up. I'm in a pretty good mood....and it's Friday! I've wanted to write something fun and insightful for a while, but I've come up with nothing. I guess my brain is just fried from all the hard thinking I've had to do.

Soooooo....I'm gonna write about my guilty pleasures lol

1. people.com --- I'm addicted. Can't beleive I'm admitting this (sorry V!!), but every time I'm at work, it's pulled up on my computer. I just can't get enough hollywood gossip. and normally, I'm the go-to girl about all the celebrity news...babies, weddings, deaths, arrests, yeah i know it all.
2. facebook --- always and forever on there. if i don't check it at least 3 times a day, I feel incomplete. It's my window into everyone's world...the happenings, the feelings, the pictures. I just love it all.
3. texting --- my nickname at work: digits. i'm non stop texting. it's a good thing i have unlimited, otherwise i would be in some serious trouble.
4. song lyrics/quotes --- i'm forever looking for song lyrics and quotes that pertain to exactly how i'm feeling, what i'm doing, or things i'm thinking. it's never ending. i don't know why i'm so addicted or why i have this obsession with them but i just can't help it. sometimes lyrics and quotes just fit better than me expressing things in my own words. if you have any, let me know ;)
5. TV shows --- I can't help it, but I get hooked on TV shows waaaaay too easily. My weekly line up: Sunday - Desperate Housewives and Brothers & Sisters. Monday - One Tree Hill. Tuesday - Nip/Tuck (except my new apartment doesn't have FX so I don't get to watch this one anymore). Thursday - Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice.
6. hot chocolate --- I drink it pretty much every morning in the fall and winter. it's my version of coffee lol and now I'm addicted to the Caribou version with a shot of mint. YUMMM! last year, my uncle gave me this awesome hot chocolate maker - it makes the hot chocolate all frothy and super rich. he knows the way to my heart lol
7. heels --- most girls have a shoe and purse obsession...but mine is heels. it doesn't matter how many black pairs i have, i will buy another one if i find cute ones lol and sad part is, i can't even pick my favorite pair. i start to think, "oh these are by far my favorites" but then i'll wear another pair, and change my mind. ha! gotta love how awesome they make your legs look too ;)
8. dancing --- each and every wednesday, i'm at the club. sometimes on thursday nights too. and if i hear music, most likely, i'm moving and shakin to the beat lol i just can't help it!
9. dressing up --- and not just dressy like going to the club, but wearing dresses and heels and doing my make-up just right with the right necklace and earrings.
10. pink/purple --- i looove all things pink. and i'm obsessed with purple clothing and shoes. i know, i'm such a girly girl. i have a pink camera, pink heels, pink phone cover, pink pen. and when it comes to clothing, if it's purple, mostly likely, i'll wear it. i've figured out that purple is my color!
11. blogging --- i don't do it very often. and i don't do it as often as i'd like. but i definitely love to do it. and sometimes i relay way too much info but i just can't help it. i feel like on here i don't really have a filter. i can express exactly what i'm feeling and why.
12. polka dots --- my phone cover is polka dots. my hair straightener is polka dots. i have polka dot wedges....yeah i'm pretty much in love with them. i think they are sooo cute. they can be young and hip or sophisticated depending on where or what they are on.

well that's all i can think of right now. i'm sure there are more. well of course there is more. but for now this is good. off to do some actual work now :)

midterm hell week has arrived

ok so i just need to vent very quickly and then get back to hell....you'll see what i'm talking about in a minute. thursday and friday was considered our "fall break" and i took full advantage of that. but now it's sunday, and guess what i'm doing. homework and studying. lots and lots of it, actually. here is my list of "to do's":

• Food science midterm study guide
• Food science midterm (due by monday at midnight)
• Reflection for seminar (due by tuesday at noon)
  
• Seminar midterm (tuesday at 12:30)
  
• Two science article summaries (due by tuesday night)
• Guided Reading Proposed Lesson (due by wednesday morning at 8am)
• Math midterm study guide
• Math midterm (wednesday at 10:30)
  
• Science Lesson Plan/Presentation (wednesday at 12:30)
  
• Diagnostic Interview paper (due by wednesday at midnight)

Really?! how the hell am i supposed to enjoy my fall break with all of this to do? well i guess i should stop complaining and actually work on some of this. wish me luck....i'm gonna need it.

change of plans

this always seems to happen to me.....plans change. so i'm not going to tallahassee with elizabeth anymore for fall break :( it makes me sad because i was very excited...we were supposed to get pedi's lol

instead i will be either staying in raleigh, sleeping in and relaxing and enjoying an extra long weekend or heading to charlotte for a few days. haven't decided which yet.

BUT that means i'll be here for the NCSU vs Duke football game!!!! i'm pumped. and i'm bringing my litte brother, who is a huge duke fan. this should be interesting lol and fun :) brother sister bonding! yay i'm excited.

ahh i love football :) and fall break!

october!

my first happy post in a while.....yayyy!

it's october people! probably one of my favorite months. ok so maybe that's not totally true. i love summer, i really miss summer. but now, the leaves are changing, the air is cooling off, hoodies are coming out, and hot chocolate is starting to become more of a routine staple in my diet lol ahhh, fall! i love it!

usually october brings lots of football games...my favorite part of this season! but this year State only has one home game in october, and of course, it's the weekend i'm going to be away for fall break. why the athletic department did this, i don't know, because i'm sure a lot of people are going to be out of town that weekend, but oh well. And we're playing Duke...i wanted to see this game. but again, oh well.

instead, i'm going to Tallahassee, Florida with Elizabeth. Road Trip!! We leave Wednesday. it's going to be a looooooong day. Get up and go to class from 8 to 3 then drive 8 hours....like i said, loong day. but it should be fun. i've never been to elizabeth's home town. it will be a new experience. so, i guess it's worth missing the only football game in october for it. lol

i can't wait. i'll definiely tell you all about it :) and i'm sure there will be pictures too lol

happy october everyone!!!

belief

belief is a beautiful armor
but makes for the heaviest sword
~Belief by John Mayer

i'm normally a very positive thinking person...well not lately, but for the most part. i don't like to think pessimistically. i see the glass half full. i see the good in the bad. there's always a silver lining. i always thought that was a good quality to have.

well, until i was talking to someone this weekend, and they told me it wasn't because all i'm doing is setting myself up to get hurt....when it comes to people, at least.

i always give people the benefit of the doubt. unless you give me a reason to not trust you, i give people my unconditional trust. i put my whole heart into something or someone until they give me a reason not to.

so now i'm curious....what do you think?? is it bad to have this view on life and of people? i do get hurt easily...but is that because i put too much faith and trust into people? should i stop being so willing to trust and beleive the best? please help me here!! i need to hear your opinions...

my quote for the day (that i wrote, thank you very much! lol) :
i can't help but believe the best in people....sometimes it ends in pain, but sometimes, it doesn't. and that's what makes it all worth it ♥

alone.

my least favorite feeling......being alone.

and right now, that's exactly what i'm feeling. i'm down in the dumps . i don't really know why. probably because i just drove back from a house full of people to no one. well my kitties. but that's it. alone. to my bed, where it's just me.

maybe it's because i've been doing a lot of thinking lately (see below post)....realizing how alone i've felt. i was so optimistic when i wrote the first post. now i'm not. yes i have a great time with my friends. i love hanging out with my new roommates and going to the club but when i come home, i'm alone. i sleep alone. when i'm upset, i deal with it alone. i'm alone.

i know, it's a self pitty party right now. and i hate to be this down but i don't know what else to do but type because for whatever reason, typing this is sort of like a healing process. it makes me cry and want to scream, but it's also soothing at the same time. weird? maybe. but it helps, so i'm just going to keep going. even though the tears keep falling.

i like this person. and being with him makes me smile so much. and we laugh. and we have a great time. and thinking about him makes me happy. but he's not here. and when i feel lonely, i can't just drive over to get a hug. and i can't just call him and tell him how i feel because our relationship isn't quite there yet...i don't want to scare him off. things are going well. so i leave them how they are. missing him. hoping that this alone feeling goes away. and i want him here with me. or i just want to be there with him.

but i can't change any of that. so i sit here and wait patiently because that's what i do best. pretend everything is ok. put on a smile. laugh. be my happy bubbly self. when inside i'm just jealous of everyone else who has someone. as i sit here alone...with my babies. and hope that one day soon, i won't be so alone.

boys, boys, boys

"boys, boys, boys...they follow my voice..." haha probably one of the funniest songs I've heard in a while. yes, it's old and it's by ashlee simpson. but it's talking about immature boys that need to think before they act. it's catchy and it makes me laugh when i listen to it.

anyone who knows me, knows that it is not hard for me to meet guys. as bad as that sounds. i honestly don't know why, but there is always one or two guys interested in me. and again...that sounds sooooo cocky but i really don't know why. but most of the time, unfortunately, it's usually not a mutual feeling.

so why is it that i have this "male following" but i can't seem to keep a guy around. well it's simple. the boys that flock to me are, well, boys. immature, cocky, horny. i need men.... well a man, preferably. one that is stable, driven, secure. one that likes me for me... not my body or my dancing skills, or whatever else they want. but for my love, passion, humor, inner beauty.

i like someone. he seems strong, stable, protective, confident, driven. all the qualities i want in a guy. hmmmm, just thinking about him gives me the little butterflies. yes, so clique, i know. only problme - he's not close by. of course. so i wonder....if he was here, would we be in a relationship? is it worth trying? is it worth waiting? or is he just another boy....?

my man is out there. somewhere. and i'm trying to be patient but sometimes it's hard when everyone around you is in a relationship, engaged, getting married, or even already married. kinda makes a girl like me feel a little lonely. as much as i'm enjoying being single, it's nice to have someone to come lay your head down on at night.

but......i will wait. and i will end up with my prince. i'm sure of it :) i know, i just gotta give it time.

RIP Riley :(

I just found out that my uncle's "son" passed away on Wednesday, September 9th.

Riley, you will be greatly missed. I have so many fond memories of us. I still remember when Uncle Paul told me about you. I couldn't wait to meet you! Then came years of playing at the dog park, riding around in the Oldsmobile, long walks, and cuddling up at night. You were an amazing little cousin with such a gentle soul. You lived a happy and productive thirteen years. Because of you, 32 lucky animals now have homes...they were just attracted to you. They would follow you home like little ducklings. You were just so sweet...what's not to love?! I will miss your warm happy "helloooooo" as I walk in the door and your amazing hugs. Kobie will miss you too. I remember when she went to stay with you over my winter break...she just followed you around wherever you went and wanted to nap with you all the time. You were like her little protector at the house. Now you join Kiwi up in doggie heaven...say hi to her for me. We all will miss you down here.

Love always,
Rachel

Riley ♥
4/7/96 - 9/9/09

Today We Remember

I Will Always Remember. This week for the past few years have been a rough one...on a national level and on a community level. I can't believe how fast the years have gone.

Sept 9, 2006 - Ozzie Vargas, the senior class president of Apex High School and a close friend, passed away. I can't believe it's been 3 years since his passing. He was taken from us way too early but I know he's in heaven smiling down on us. His smile would light up a room and his laugh was contagious. He is and always will be greatly missed.

Sept 11, 2001 - Terrorists hijacked planes and crashed them into the World Trade Centers, Pentagon, and a field in Pennsylvania. From that day forth, September 11th was never the same. We will always mourn on this day the many lives that were cut short. 8 years ago today, and the images on the TV are still clear as day in my mind. One good thing that came from this - we as Americans came together and showed our true spirit and strength. "I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin here today. cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away."

For both of these traumatizing events in my life, I remember like it was yesterday... where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, and just the complete and utter shock that I felt after getting the news. These events are just so unfortunately but they make me stronger as a person because I know that all of these people are in a better and safer place. Please help me remember these people - today, and every day - for their incredible lives that were cut too short.

Labor Day Weekend

So this Labor Day, I did something new. Well kind of...more of, I went somewhere new. Last summer at Mallory's wedding, I met some awesome people. I have luckily kept in touch with a few of them...thank goodness for facebook! lol so as I was talking to one of them on FB about a week before labor day, trying to decide what the heck to do, he suggested I come visit him in Virginia Beach. So i talked to Lauren (my new roomie) and she was all for it.

soooo Saturday after she got off work, we hit the road and traveled 3 hours north to Virginia Beach. There, Quamme and Kasey awaited our arrival. It was a blast!! We really didn't do too much, but that was perfectly fine by me. I wanted a nice relaxing weekend and it was a new place so it was really cool. After we got there Saturday night, we walked around the boardwalk and just did some nighttime sight seeing.

*Quamme and Kasey - our lovely hosts for the weekend*

Then on Sunday, we spent some time on the beach. It was a little cloudy and the water was too cold for me to get in, but it was still nice to be at the beach relaxing. By mid afternoon we left and went back to Kasey's so we could all shower and get ready. There was a beach music festival on the boardwalk that night that we wanted to hit up. Decked in our cowgirl boots, Lauren and I were ready to take on "Vaaaaa Beach" as everyone there calls it. We stayed and listened to the music for a little while (Lonestar, a country band, was playing. I unfortunately was the only country fan, so we didn't stay long.) Then we wandered around the boardwalk trying to figure out what to do. Well I lucked out because someone didn't know how to do math and I got into a bar. So we spent the rest of the night hanging out at this pretty cool, low key bar. By last call, we were all ready to go. So we wondered along the boardwalk some more before heading back to Kasey and Quamme's friends house, which is close to the beach. Some of us braved jumping into the pool (Kasey, Quamme, me, and Hunter) while others sat out and laughed at our expressions when we realized how cold it was (lauren)....but again, it was fun! We finally headed back to Kasey's house and fell asleep around 5:30am. It was a long day but a fun filled adventure.

Unfortunately, Monday it was drizzling and really overcast so Lauren and I didn't get to go to the beach again. So we packed up our stuff and said bye to Kasey and Quamme around 2pm. Then we hit the road back to Raleigh. It was a lot of fun! And I hope to visit again soon before Quamme is medically discharged and heads back to Montana.

*at the beach music festival with lauren* *at the bar!*

*the group we hung out with*
(Kasey, Lauren, Me, Quamme, & Matt)

Ahhh, it was a much needed, funn filled, relaxing weekend. How was your labor day weekend?!

Piper's new discovery

So I caught Piper in the act!! I took a video of her opening my drawer and digging in my clothes. I think she figured out I was watching her because she didn't make a mess with the clothes like usual and then she didn't get into the drawer, she just wandered off. But here is the evidence!! And then here are some pictures of when she was in the drawer lol

the happenings

so i haven't had much time to write lately...i've been a busy bee! i'll catch you up on a few little things going on in my life.

• moved into my new apartment! absolutely love it. it's spacious. the furniture is nice. we have finally finished the decorating. and the roommates are awesome :)
• my new roommates and i spent the sunday after we moved in at the beach. it was a roommate bonding trip and it was sooo much fun! i think this is gonna be a great year...and work out a lot better than last years roommates, for sure! here's the picture we took at the beach...then we blew it up and hung it up in our living room. olivia made it look all cool!!
  
• my new goal for this year is to attempt to keep my room somewhat tidy. since the kitties have free roam of the apartment this year (Kobie didn't last year. she was always locked in my room while i was away), I keep my bedroom door opened, or at least cracked so they can wander in my room and nap.....meaning everyone sees my room. soooooo i'm gonna try to keep it clean. let's see how long this lasts! lol
• started classes. i can't believe it, but i'm already a junior! classes are going well and i've been enjoying them. I'm not use to the long days, but the classes are soo worth it. For the first time, I actually don't mind going to class.
• I got my cartilage pierced. I know, not such a big deal to everyone else...but it was exciting to me lol of course mom hates it. my 10 year old sister, on the other hand, now wants one. she thinks i'm cooler than ever now :) hehe
• first day as an intern. September 1st was our first days in the schools. i have mixed emotions. I'm looking forward to it and am very excited to work with the students but at the same time, we are there from 8:30 to 11:30 but our students are in specials for most of the morning. i'm hoping i'll get the opportunity to observe other teachers while my kids are in specials. it will be a learning tool for sure!
• first football game of the season! was last night...we lost. but hey, it was a lot of fun. we played USC and we lost big time to them last year. at least we didn't have as big of a beating this year. we only lost 7-3. but i just love the spirit and the atmosphere. and it was perfect weather for a football game. not too hot, with a nice breeze! bring on the rest of football season!!
• Kobie and Piper are loving each other. They are getting along so well now. They tackle each other and roll around the living room floor for everyone to watch. Then when they get tired, they fall asleep together somewhere. I think Kobie has adopted Piper as her little child because every time they wake up from a nap, Kobie will go over to Piper and give her a little bath by giving her licks and kisses. It's sooo cute!!
• Oh and just one more kitty thing - Piper has discovered how to open my drawers so she pulls them open, digs in my clothes, takes a little nap, then leaves....while leaving my clothes scattered across the floor. For once, my messy room isn't all my fault ;)

I think that's it for now. Happy September!!

a struggling relationship

I'm a Daddy's Girl. Hands down. No questions asked.

Ever since I was little, I can remember my mom and I butting heads. Sometimes over little things like hair and makeup. sometimes over not so little things like boyfriends, grades, and money.

I hate to say it but she's the reason I'm so self conscious too. Ever since I can remember (probably starting in 6th grade), my weight has been under a microscope. And I'll be the first one to say it, I'm NOT overweight. I never have been. I have been pretty content with my appearance most of my life...but then her little voice gets into my head and I just can't seem to shake it. And it's not only about weight...once I grew into my body and developed, I wasn't wearing the right clothes....and the list just goes on.

When I left for college, I thought things were going to get better between the two of us. At least that's what everyone was telling me. And it did. For a little while at least. Then I moved home for the summer after my Freshman year and we were back to butting heads. Bad.

Then sophomore year came around, I moved into my new apartment and over the school year things were a little better, but not a lot better. Until closer to the end of the year, things got really good between us. I talked to her more. I included her more into my life. I made a point of spending time with her just her and I. So when summer came along, things were going pretty well. It helped a lot that I wasn't living at home for the summer.

So now it's the end of the summer and I'm about to start my junior year. Things between my mom and I have been a huge roller coaster this summer. We make 10 giant leaps towards getting better (she came and picked me up from work the other day for lunch and we had a great time just catching up and talking) and then one night like last night (we got in a huge argument that I honestly don't even know why or how it started), we fall back 20 steps.

It just sucks because I want to have a good relationship with my mom. I really do. I wish she could be someone I go to with everything. But unfortunately, I feel like if I go to her for advice, I'm being judged. If I ask her opinion, it's not her honest opinion, it's what she feels like what a mother should say.

But I guess it's just going to be a waiting game. I'll never know if my relationship with her will get better or worse. I just have to wait and see....

present

yesterday is history.
tomorrow is a mystery.
and today?
today is a gift.
that's why they call it the present.

lately i've been so focused on what's gonna happen later on down the line or in the future. but as i've started to sit back and think, i'm wasting precious time and not enjoying life in the moment. i need to step back and just take what happens day by day...no more worrying or wondering what's gonna happen later. what happens, happens. i just need to accept that and take everything in strides. that's my new goal for this year. live in the moment. today is a gift and i'm going to enjoy it!

and another month begins.

and the madness of august begins! I'm actually pretty excited for this month though. It should be a good month....well hopefully.

it has taken me a little while to recover from my draining few weeks. going to New Jersey was nice because it let me just get away and clear my head. i did a lot of thinking. by the time i got back, the week consisted of packing the rest of my stuff and by friday, july 31st all my stuff was out of my apartment and i turned in my keys. it was bittersweet...but leaning more toward the sweet lol i'm gonna miss village green, mostly because it was my first ever apartment and i enjoyed spending time with most of my neighbors so i'll miss that. but i definitely won't miss the living situation and feeling excluded or that i have to lock myself in my room so i don't ever have to see my roommates.

no, this year is going to be different. i'm going to make sure of it. my new roommates seem awesome, and the time we've all spent together makes it seem like we're going to get along just fine. and maybe even be more than roommates....actually friends!! i really hope so. i move into my new place on friday, and i'm soooo excited! i really have high hopes. we're actually taking a roommate trip down to the beach the day after we move in so we can have a good time, relax, and really get to know each other better. it should be fun!

classes start in less than 2 weeks!!!! i can't believe it but i'm really looking forward to it. i can't believe i'm a junior this year! college is just flying by! i really hope this is a good year. actually, scratch that. i'm going to make this a good year. i'm all about thinking positive and living in the moment lately, so that's what i'm gonna do!!

i'll definitely be posting pics of the new apartment as soon as i settle in. hope everyone has had a great start to their august!

things just got worse

If I thought last weekend was emotionally draining, I should have kept my mouth shut. The week to come only got worse. I have never felt so sad, confused, angry, hurt, upset, or betrayed. All those emotions definitely took a toll on me. This past week was really exhausting. I don't really want to get into the details but now I'm confused and don't really know what to do. I've been leaning on Veronica for help and advice. She has been awesome (once again, she does so much for me!). I was talking to her about my situation and she posed this question:

Would you rather have no friends, or friends you can't trust?

That's a tough one. And I've been thinking long and hard about it. Hopefully this will help me in deciding what to do. Again, I've never been so confused in my life.

But it was nice to get away this weekend. It was a whirlwind trip but definitely worth it. I went to NJ for my grandma's 75th birthday. We threw a surprise party, and she was REALLY surprised! I think she was glad to see my family too which was nice because we don't get to see that side of the family very often.

Now it's Monday. Back to work. Back to packing. Back to reality. Wish me luck...

Oh and just curious, to the question posed above, what is your answer?? and why?

Marylin quote

I believe everything happens for a reason.

People change so that you can learn to let go.

Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right.

You believe lies so you evenutally learn to trust no one but yourself.

And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

~Marylin Monroe

draining weekend

this weekend has been a busy one....emotionally and physically draining. since this was the last official weekend that I will be in my apartment, a lot had to be done. I've packed up around 5 boxes already and still have more clothes and little things to pack. I cleaned with the help of emma and cory...yes they now know I'm officially not the cleanest person in the world. they had a good laugh at my mess. but that's ok, we had fun. we moved stuff out of the room and got rid of my box spring. I now sleep on my mattress on the floor lol which doesn't really bother me. then we painted my lime green walls back to white. it was kind of sad. but also exciting. i will be starting a new chapter. junior year. brand new place. brand new roommates. and hopefully new friends. i can't wait!

*exhausted after our long day of painting*

i still feel like there is lots to do before i move out on July 31st. My entire bathroom needs to be packed up. My closet needs to be organized and then packed. I still have some stuff in my dresser drawers. So it will be a mad dash to get it all done next week when I get back from New Jersey. I will be living at home for 14 days (I can't move into my other apartment until Aug 14th), which I am really not looking forward to. Actually, I'm completely dreading it. but oh well. nothing else I can do. I can't really live in my car lol

the new kitten has proven to be a lot more troublesome than I thought. Kobie has always been queen bee of the apartment. now with the new rugrat, she doesn't really know how to handle sharing her space. she's hissed and swatted at Piper a few times but hopefully, with time, she will learn to accept the little newcomer. other than that, Piper is a breeze. She loves to be pet and cuddled. I just wish she could join Kobie and me at night in my bed. I would be one happy Mama :)

some more emotional stuff happened this weekend that I would rather not talk about. Unfortunately I have to take full responsibility for it. But as I always tell myself....No regrets. Just lessons. I have also come to a realization which also made my weekend a little emotional. my head and heart has collided and now I honestly don't know what to do. Is it better to just let go completely and move on? Or do I just keep that small glimmer of hope? From the looks of it, I think I'll be moving on. But I'm honestly ok with that. I can't normally say that. I normally wallow in self pitty for a few days. But not this time. I'm going to be ok. Like I said earlier, there's a new chapter that's about to start. Who knows what that could bring.

One last update: next weekend I will be heading to New Jersey for another whirlwind weekend trip. It's my grandma's 75th birthday so we're throwing her a surprise party. It will be nice to see some of the family, catch up with the aunts and uncles, and play with my little cousins. It will also be a stressful time because I have to deal with my family lol but I'm looking forward to it.

Hopefully this week goes by smoothly so I can get some things done before I leave for the weekend. Then it's busy bee time. So much to do, so little time. wish me luck!

meet piper

Lately I feel like I've been so GO GO GO that I haven't spent enough time with Kobie. And she's making it known, that's for sure. 5am rolls around and she thinks it's play time. That just doesn't fly with me. I like my sleep so I hate when she wakes me up. I do play with her once in a while, but with packing, working, and being social, I definitely don't give Kobie the attention she needs. I feel so guilty...so I got the brilliant idea of getting her a playmate.

Enter Piper...Isn't she adorable?!

So far, she's been a great girl. She's playful and full of energy. She loves to purr too. I think she'll fit right in with my happy little family. I still want Kobie to know that she is my number one, as bad as that sounds. With this new kitty, I don't want her to feel left out. The whole point was to actually feel more included and wanted. Now here's the test. Hopefully they will actually get along and Kobie will be able to have the play time she needs. All the research I've done says that introductions should be a few days. So tonight I introduced them for the first time. Kobie wasn't really sure what to think but Piper was hissing away. I think she was just a little scared. Tomorrow we'll see how it goes. Wish me luck!!

to a great friend.

"A friend is someone who knows you yet still loves you."

Veronica, this is you to me! lol you know so much (good and bad) yet you still don't judge me.

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

I have known Veronica for almost 3 years now. And throughout that time, I have become very close to her and her amazing family. She has become a mentor and best friend. I go to her when times are bad and when things are good. If I have news, she's the first I want to share it with. She has been so incredibly generous to me. I'm really lucky to have her in my life.

I wish there was some way I could show my undying appreciation for her friendship, but there are just no words to express that. No matter how hard I try to explain it, I won't be able to say exactly how appreciative I am.

But today is her birthday. And I hope she has the most incredible day. She deserves to enjoy herself and get pampered. She has done so much for her family. She puts everyone else before herself. I so often feel a part of her family, which is so amazing to me!

Well V, today is your day! Be selfish!! Enjoy your time off work. And spoil yourself :)

I love you!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

bad boys

"Your the kind of boy who likes the kind of girls
Who like to fool around with the boys on the first date
I'm the kind of girl who ain't supposed to like those boys
But I kinda like those boys that like those kind of girls"

I heard this song on the radio the other day. It's called "Boy Like Me" by Jessica Harp. It has a pretty fun beat and it's kind of addicting but as I was listening to the lyrics it got me to thinking...

...what IS it about those bad boys that keeps us girls coming back??

Here are my thoughts on the reasons:

• Girls feel protected and safe with a bad guy...for example, he would get in a fight with anyone over "his" girl.


• Girls feel somewhat inferior (as bad as that sounds) to them because the bad boy isn't the girls doormat. She can't just walk all over him and girls like that feeling because they want to feel like the guy is the dominant figure in the relationship so, again, they feel protected.


• Girls find it kind of a challenge and a huge reward if they can say that they "tamed" a bad boy. So the thrill and notoriety of being able to fix someone is a little addictive.


• I'm not going to lie about this one, but most bad boys have that mysterious look so they are usually REALLY attractive!


• They are mysterious so girls just can't get enough of trying to figure them out. The girl is NEVER bored because there is still that something they don't know about him. It keeps the excitement up.

I know how this all works too. I've been there, done that. And I've seen my friends go through it too. But no matter how many times we see it or hear about it, us girls just can't get enough of those bad boys. We're kind of addicted. I'll fully admit that I am lol and most girls my age are as well. But when do we break this cycle? Or do we ever? Is there always that little attraction no matter how old we get? I guess I'll find out.

In the end, they are usually jerks and turn out to be the one that girls don't end up with. And every girl knows this. But "nice guys finish last" is completely true in my opinion (in a good way though) ....because they are the ones that finish with the girl.

So boys, if you're a bad boy, let a girl "tame" you if you really care about her because if you don't, you will never be able to keep her around. She can only handle so much...

And if you're a nice guy...hold you. One of these days, a nice girl is gonna come along, be fed up with those "bad boys" and she'll fall completely in love with you :)