turning back the pages

do you remember those books you read, maybe back in middle school, that you could pick the fate of the character at the end of each chapter? "if kate decided to go in the house, turn to page 15. if kate decided to turn around and leave, turn to page 23." i use to love them. i would always pick my answer but then go back and read what would have happened if i chose the other option. sometimes, i wish life was like that. turn back the pages to see the different outcomes...

i can't sleep. it's 2:22am. and all i can think about is one night over this past summer. may 20th, to be exact. that night keeps playing over and over in my head. i wonder what it would be like right now if the turn of events happened differently. would my situation now be differnt? if so, how?

i guess all i can really do is wonder...