Decision making. It hasn't always been my strong point. Mom would agree. In high school, I always seemed to make the wrong decision because it was something I wanted but knew I shouldn't. Nothing too bad like drugs or alcohol. More like lying to my parents because I wanted to go to a boys house and I knew my parents wouldn't like that. Or in college, my first semester, I would always choose to go out instead of staying in to study. Another example: I can never decide what to wear. If I'm going out, I change my outfit at least 2 or 3 times. Or if you ask me where to go or what to do, I never know. And that's usually the answer I'll give you.
But right now, that's not really the decision making I'm talking about. That’s just petty things. Little things that don't matter too much. Not now and not later. But what about those decisions that could be life changing. They may seem kind of small at the time, but as the years go on, that decision paves your way to life.
For example, one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to make was where to go to college. I applied to three schools: Appalachian, Charlotte, and State. I got into all three. So that didn't help my decision making process. So I made a pros and cons list. Appalachian was ruled out immediately. But then it was left between Charlotte and State. And it took me up until a week before the deposit was due in May to decide. I just couldn't. I didn't want to regret it down the line. I ended up at State. And I don't regret it one bit. So that was a good decision. I went with my gut. Who knows how my life would have turned out if I had ended up at Charlotte, but I'm positive it would be very different from what it is now.
A hard decision came up in August of last year. I don't really want to go into details but it was one of the hardest decisions of my life. And I made the right one at the time even though I was heartbroken. But then I started to regret it. I decided that the first time I decided wasn't the right decision. So I thought I would fix it, which I did. Turns out my gut instinct the first time was right. I should have just stuck with the original decision even though it was really hard. In the end, it was the right one for me. Another life changing decision. Things would be very different now, I think, if I had made a different decision.
So here's what I'm getting at......for my first decision, I did all the things I was supposed to. I made a pros and cons list. I thought long and hard. I followed my head. And I came up with a decision I was happy with. For my second decision, I followed my heart. I didn't listen to my gut reactions the first time. I just felt the aftermath and wasn't happy with it so I fixed it.
Now I have a decision to make...it's not important that it be made today. Or tomorrow, for that matter. But I've been thinking long and hard about it. And I'm completely stumped. I've made a list. There are pros and cons to each option. That isn't helping. My gut isn't telling me that one is better than the other either. So do I go with the decision that my head is telling me is the right one? Or do I go with the one that my heart is telling me? From the examples above, it's obvious that I go with my head. But this is a matter of the heart...so do I listen to it?? I'm so confused. And this decision, unlike my second one, I don't think I could reverse and try to fix it. My choice is the one that is final. I can't turn around and change my mind after I've lived with it for a little bit and realized it was the wrong choice. So what do I do? Just give it more time? Will time help? I guess we'll just have to wait and see...
In the meantime, if you have any advice about decision making...any techniques that help you out, please let me know because I'm in desperate need. lol
"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever...."
i had an awesome weekend. Friday i went to see The Hangover (probably the funniest movie ever. I honestly don't think i've laughed that hard in a looooong time) then it was a low key night of drinking at my apartment with emma and some new friends. saturday was also very relaxing. i stayed in bed most of the day, which was really nice because i haven't done that in a long time. then went to a party out in smithfield with andrew and emma that night, which was a lot of fun. sunday i spent the day by the pool with my future roommate, lauren. we get along great and i'm really looking forward to moving in with her in august. we talked about what color we want to paint and how to decorate and a few other things. hopefully these roommates will work out better than my last ones *fingers crossed*
kobie has been super great lately. she has been extra cuddly and i absolutely love every minute of it. it's so hard to get out of bed in the morning sometimes because she's laying against me with her head resting on my stomach. she's so precious, i don't want to disturb her. for a while she only slept at my feet but lately she's been sleeping up at the top of the bed with me. sometimes even directly on me. i know it's probably just another phase, but i'm going to take full advantage of it because i miss these times. and i can't believe it, but she's not going to be a kitten anymore soon. on june 26, she'll be one!
well right now that's all the happy things i can think of. not bad for a pitty partier (is that even a word?! oh well, i just made one up if it's not), i guess. lol but hopefully things will start to look up. i think tonight calls for chocolate ice cream and a chick flick. well maybe not the chocolate ice cream part because i can't afford it lol but i'll definitely be curling up in bed with kobie and watching a good hard core romantic movie :) just what the doctor calls for on a day like today.
.JPG)
