5 days

the build up for my birthday is beginning. the countdown is on. (5 dayssss!) and i'm getting very excited. 21. it's a BIG DEAL. but as the excitement is growing, so is the pit at the bottom of my stomach.

i want to be excited for my birthday. i really do. but i can't help but think how disappointed i have been for the last 4 years with my birthdays. i love birthdays. i love celebrating. some people dread them. i'm not one of those people. i have a countdown going starting in january. i look forward to my birthday all the time. but every year i've been disappointed. some event has occurred to cause me to not enjoy my birthday to the fullest extent. even though i've had such bad experiences, i'm always optimistic.

so this is me being optimistic. my birthday is coming up!!! and i CAN NOT wait :)) i really hope i'm not disappointed this year. i mean it's 21...how can it be?! let's hope i'm rightttt!