2am thoughts

it's 2am and i can't sleep. why? probably because there are way too many thoughts running through my head for this time of night. i can't stop thinking. i try to get one thought out of my head, and just as i do, another one pops in. and i've been laying in bed since 1230am. obviously, this is not good. my heart keeps racing and then slowing down.

is this a panic attack?
i have no clue.

but i feel exhausted. for whatever reason my mind won't let me get any rest. so i got on here to see if this will calm my nerves. why do i have nerves? why do i feel nervous? is it really that i feel nervous? or is it some other emotion i just can't find the word for? why do all these thoughts have to haunt me now? couldn't they have waited until tomorrow when i wake up. or if they could have come 1 or 2 hours earlier then when i laid down to sleep. so many questions, but not a lot of answers. if i get it all out, then hopefully i can lay down and fall asleep. just watching the computer screen is making my eye lids heavy. ok i guess i'll attempt to go to bed once more. and i hope this works. i need my rest. i was doing so well. i was on a really good schedule. i guess i jinxed it with my post earlier (or yesterday, if that's the way you look at it lol). ugh. i need sleep. well goodnight everyone.